You’re today’s years old realizing that you have to remember some short accident in youth. Keep it as a note so you won’t repeat the same mistakes.
Today you are 20 years old and all you keep worried about is your future. Who am I? What am I going to be? How to start this and that? All these sentences fulfill your head for the next 24/7, it’s overwhelming and it shows. Your eyes are swollen because of the overthinking agenda that burdening you. You slowly lost your confidence. You won't be able to face people. You feel less worthy of love because you can’t do anything as you think. You may feel useless because you can’t amaze people with your action. You think your dreams are unreachable so you decide to do not to have any. All those bad thoughts stay but positivity is gone.
I want you to remember that you probably feel this in your transition phase,
Life is always being so unpredictable. Like the negativity that you feel, today seems real, but it's going to be gone. You are a survivor for anything that you’ve been through in the past. You must be really amazing to put yourself a smile today. Don’t underestimate small things like listening to your own playlist or even enjoy a dessert. It helps you boost your mood or erase your bad day. Everyone deserves to be loved and to be in love, so are you. The bad thoughts are real and so the good one.
Being realistic is a must but never stop dreaming. Being an idealist is good but remember the time you may be failing. It is okay to feel sad, anger, bored, impatient, and all you can mention as an emotion. It shows that you are human. Someone said that a born baby is like a new sheet of paper, and the life that you are going to live is a pen. You can draw or write anything on it. For me, to decide which shape or line that I’m going to draw on it takes time. Remember the first time you put a pencil on to your hand, it’s not going to be an instant journal, it must be an abstract line that more looks like a curly one. You feel nothing but happiness on your first try. You keep going to do that until you can write your own name. It keeps going and now you have to write thousands of words about how to handle your major at college. If you at that rate, look back, so you can value your struggle. It always starts as a beginner.
For my future self. I want to tell you that on my today’s years old I often feel left out, unappreciated by people and it becomes my insecurities. Remember that somehow it is only pop up in your mind so I hope my future self will be less overthinking. Actually, some people really show their intention towards myself but I do not notice it. My bad.
Your relation with people is intermediate. You are a good listener but you give more late responsiveness. That’s why you have to improve it. But still, you can set your priorities. So you won't feel pressed once you have interaction with society.
- km.
